CAUSES AND EVENTS OF JOY

It is the end of the mid-term tests. The school is indulging in usual revelry at this time of the year aftermath the exams. Mikhail has a radiant smile on his face. Students are bustling out of their class. Dave too leaves from one of the classes.

Dave bumps into Mikhail on the stairs. He walks with him until the first storey and then explains, “Mikhail, I am so happy, the pain is over. The exams are history, a thing of the past. It is only joy from here.” Mikhail has a modest joy on his face but it is not one consistent with the joy Dave feels. Dave wonders, “Whats wrong, Mikhail, Aren’t you overjoyed the exams are over?”

And Mikhail says:

Dave, I am happy that exams have come to an end. But my joy is very different from your joy and it is rightly so because of the boys we are, the lives we lead and what it means to both of us. I am joyful at your joy but I apologize, that I am in a little contempt at the joy you seek or that has found you. I do not look down upon your joy but I am hopeful that if I explain my reason for my joy, that you would know that your reason for your joy is not joy but like an exam, only a figment of the life you lead. I would have to be brutally honest; you are my friend, so please allow me to be.

Dave: Yes, Mikhail, Go on, I trust your intentions.

And Mikhail says:

Joy is Cause oriented and Event oriented. The cause of my joy is not the conclusion of exams but myself. I am the cause of my joy and hence my joy is ethereally meaningful. I feel proud of the efforts I put in. I worked diligently towards my goals and respected my studies that being a student is my first obligation and carried it out in all sincerity. My joy is Cause-oriented, the exams are but an event in time which will fade away into history like you said, a thing of the past. My goals and pursuits in life are to cause my own joy and the examination is but an opportunity to realize them.

Dave, you have shared with me the deepest sense of your being. You have told me how you slacked around all semester and got your projects and assignments done from outside. You compromised examination preparation, barely scraped through journal submissions with not a little help from your class mates and friends who filled in either for your absenteeism or your part of the work and role in the group. I apologize I cannot mince words with you

If you admit what I say is true, your joy corresponds to an Event oriented joy. An event has taken place-Exams are over. You have surpassed the event and it brings you joy to think- this has passed too. Seeking joy from events is not innate in the nature of joy to last. This event of exams perishing and you surviving may bring you joy but the memory of these exams may not bring you joy. You will only look back and heave a sigh of relief, Thank God those times are over!

When you seek joy in events without working hard so that you may sow of what you reap, you will only be at the mercy of events, they will come and go. You will thirst again in want of events and when they come you will take refuge until the event has passed but Man will always need joy. His heart will always be restless. In an event, there is struggle and in the end, it may dangerously culminate into glorification of surpassing or being victor at the event in the case of Event oriented joy. There is nothing to feel proud about in it for oneself. It’s just the event but the event goes, the cause stays.

THE SHADOW ANALOGY OF GOD

A hot sunny afternoon, in the scorching heat, Mikhail and Dave are walking up the street. They have missed their bus and prefer walking home. There is long silence and sweat trickles down their faces. Dave breaks the silence… “Mikhail, how would you put for me in simple words God’s impact on Man?”

Mikhail replies: But Dave, there could be a thousand ways one could say “And God is this” and “And God is that” and “God is all this”…”God is all that.”

Dave says: Mikhail, anything that comes to your mind now, anything, think of us today, think of now.

And Mikhail says:

Dave, Think of this street that we are walking on. It is rather unbearably hot day. We both are sweating sea of water. But apart from all that, Can you see our shadows that follow us? These shadows that are formed are peculiar in the sense they are not there all day and they aren’t present anytime we wish to see them. The Sun shines, the shadow appears. We cannot see the shadow if there is no sunlight.

God is that Sun who makes us see things beyond our capacities. The things we cannot see, feel, experience, grasp or understand are ubiquitous but God shines his light often to make shadows of things that we can perceive. By his light, we can see a shadow of himself in all things that can be understood and experienced, visible and unseen. The same shadow that we can see now, due to the light of the sun, often God takes away to demarcate God and Man.

VIRTUE AND IDENTITY

Mikhail bumps into Dave on the Science class corridor. Dave is embarrassed and looks defeated as if someone gave him a thrashing.

Mikhail asks, “Dave, what happened, I seen you talking to Ms. Luten whom you usually don’t speak to?” Dave says, “Mikhail, she told me a terrible thing. I was just saying nice things to her, trying to be warm for a change but I really meant it. She told me that I don’t need to be kind and I should just be myself. What is strange is that she made it sound as if being kind was incompatible with my identity, as if kindness was independent of my identity and I could never be my identity and kind together. She made it feel like I cannot pick and implement kindness like picking and buying groceries in the bag. What is my identity, Mikhail? Am I just trying to add/have virtues to my identity and what happens to my identity?

And Mikhail says:

We all eat the same fruit. The same energy, from the fruit is expended to serve different purposes. Your eating of the fruit is for you to teach me to learn, that guy on the building up there, his eating, is to construct. And that lady in the corner doing a reconnaissance of the building, her eating is to design. But it is the same fruit that makes all possible, that we eat from over which our identities are formed eventually in what we do and engage with.

Virtues are like those fruits. While we all try to be honest, it is the role and manifestation, the pursuit of honesty plays into the specific dynamics of our lives with specific situations and circumstances that all aid in defining our identity. Some pursuits are compromised; some are sacred to us until the end. Some don’t see the light of day and some are kept alive like the breadth of our lives. In the surge and ebb of the tide (of our lives), there always shines forth one tree that defines us no matter what fruits they bear, Identity.

THE ABONDONMENT OF GOD

Mikhail meets Dave in the morning before school. Dave is looking confused and bitter. After much persuasion, Dave shares, “Mikhail, I know you are very devout and I learn a thing or two from you, but I don’t understand God sometimes. Yesterday, I was in a fix. I had to run many errands. Things were not going my way and people who had promised me help were not delivering at the 11^th hour. I kept God in my thoughts all the time and went on but still felt rather very abandoned. I do not understand why God apparently abandoned me when I needed him the most?

Dave says:

A week back I went to hospital to visit my aunt who is a nurse. She was in the children’s ward. There I saw a boy sleeping peacefully on the bed. The boy is 4 year old and has blood cancer. I cannot understand God’s will sometimes. The boy cannot understand his own suffering or the gravity of it. His age is just an opportunity for utmost grief for everyone around.

When we struggle and things don’t work for us, we wonder where God is in all this. What role his he playing and why with so many petitions and yearnings he does not respond rather eagerly. Every stage of the struggle, every potential donor that refuses to donate or does not oblige, you wonder how God will make a way (or if he even does) or will send us to one extreme of helplessness until we find help so as to remind us, “But I will not take you where my Grace cannot reach you”

Many of us amidst the struggle eventually by every minute of hopelessness forsake petitioning God and carry our own stuff, our own strengths, our own skill, our own ‘contacts’, our own will, our own peace and our own frame of mind. We snap at people and leave ourselves bitter when refused aid. We say: Look, things are not working for me, so you better co-operate and not vex me. Actually, what we are saying is: Look, nothing is working; even God has left the room and is not listening, so now it is up to me to do it and if I fail, it will fall entirely on me, so you better remind me of things and people I can do and count on not God who right now I don’t know is doing what and cannot afford anymore wondering about what mysterious plan he has about withdrawing from me and my ordeal.

I guess this is what we typically go through everyday rather implicitly in a struggle. You can imagine that after already establishing that God has abandoned you and now you are taking refuge in your own strength, that if you still receive God’s Grace, then it is only out of his Love and mercy. You did great initially by ‘keeping the faith’ but soon were cornered by circumstances apparently so unbearable that someone invisible and seated far away observing your plight and means to the end is too far-fetched to believe. But God knows Man and is immensely patient, if not, He would have abandoned us too. We never understand ‘why God has abandoned us’ whether momentarily or otherwise or why his will is not as noble and just as our own cause and fight? When we don’t understand this, it all the more perplexes us and starts a new game altogether right in between of our grief: Is God even worth believing in?

When our schooling is over, we realize what its purpose was. When our parents die we understand their value and how much more we could do just by being obedient, nothing extra ordinary actually. When our struggle is over, we assess all the things we could do, how we went out of our way, Those, whom we called on, whom we tried to reach to, what we learned, and that, Good somehow always triumphs over loss of hope and privation of Good. Now God becomes a little clear, his patient observation and his mysterious plan now take on a much greater cause and fight than our own need of its understanding.

Much of the strength of our faith is not how much we believe in our convictions often but how much we are ready to persevere when the times is not conducive to conviction and everything is chaos. Much of our faith is how we see through sunrise and sunset ‘keeping the faith’ when the wind is blowing the other way. When we are on the brink and God is now having faith in us to not give up. It is this faith that God has in us, to never stop loving Him and finding Him that is the faith of our faith that helps us. It keeps God’s grace going. Whether it is strength to battle on, perseverance to see failures or just comfort to return home in peace to a new sunrise. Some of the reasons why God plays truant will be more far reaching than all the help we tried to gather on our own steam. If all things have to be accomplished, this too, we will have to keep the faith in.

KNOWLEDGE IS VIRTUE

Mikhail and Dave are walking on a football field. They have just finished football practice.
Dave asks: Mikhail, the other day I was standing near the entrance of the train and the guy behind me and to get down. Apparently he had some difficulty getting down as It seemed I obstructed him. He called me immoral. I think his argument was that I did not have to get down yet was standing at the entrance when others who had to get down could stand there. But why did he call me immoral? I did not choose to obstruct him.

Dave stands up and says:

Man is essentially without morals. By his nature, he has no knowledge of what morals are and so has none-> w/o morals, an amoral state. But he cannot ‘choose’ to be without morals for it means his choosing is based on some alternative that he refused to choose i.e. morals. The Choice to be ‘without morals’ instead of morals, is immoral. The principle difference then between ‘without morals’ and immoral is knowledge. Thus Man often acts in ignorance of Morals. Once he has chosen, he ceases to be in that ignorance. He ceases to be in a ‘without moral’ i.e. amoral state.

Now a common objection is that even when he is amoral (without morals and not immoral), he is not making any effort to be moral and so he is making a continuous implicit choice to be amoral and is averting from choosing morals. Thus in making a continuous implicit choice (everyday) to be without morals, he is being immoral. This objection may sound true but it is not. It contradicts the definition of ignorance.

If he is not making an effort to be moral, he may choose not to. In this case, how did he choose? There has to be some knowledge to choose from. Thus he has knowledge that he can be moral and still chooses not to, which makes him immoral. But there can be no ‘continuous implicit choice’ because this choice (implicit or not) means he has knowledge of morals and is still staying amoral which falls under immorality. So if he stays amoral doesn’t necessarily mean he is making a ‘continuous implicit choice’. The fact that is he amoral means that he is ignorant (ignorance of morals). There is no choice when there is no knowledge (no knowledge is defined as ignorance). Man can be ignorant that a choice can be made to be moral. As soon as one has knowledge, a choice is made, whether he makes it implicitly in his conscience or speaks it out aloud to himself in the mirror in whichever’s favor, knowledge allows you to make a choice between morality and staying amoral, that is, immorality. Ignorance of morals means lack of knowledge of morals.

That is why Socrates said, Knowledge is Virtue. Socrates claimed, we do not become virtuous (morally upright) by our will or strength or courage. We become moral by knowledge alone (which then needs will and courage). Only when we have knowledge can we know to what end we should will, with what amount of courage and the strength to apply. Without knowledge, how can we ascertain, whether our strong will power is being directed towards good or Evil (Hitler had a strong will), whether our courage is helping defend the right cause or just courage to fight like hooligans. If we wish to be moral, then try to have knowledge. Socrates said, Know! (And the greatest personality development course you can ever undergo on your own) and ‘KNOW THYSELF’. KNOWLEDGE IS VIRTUE!

Causes and Compromises

Dave meets Mikhail in a troubled situation sitting in one corner pondering.

Dave asks: What is it, Mikhail that is troubling you so?

Mikhail says: Dave, I have fallen into trouble with certain school authorities but I am clear in my conscience and I am convinced I am right just like others do.

Dave asks: So whats the problem then? What are the administrators going to do?

Mikhail replies: they may do something, they may accept their folly and not do anything at all. But everything is a risk. For my mother, everything is a danger and not so much a risk.

Dave replies: Mikhail if you believe in something, you go for it. Don’t be afraid of anything. Pursue your ideologies and causes. We live for them. You are your principle.

And Dave stands up and says:

I have not right to fight for causes that undermine the ability of my mother (who sponsors my education) who pays me to have causes in the first place. I cannot fight for causes on another’s account. There is conflict of interest. She is paying for my college and trusts me to honor all the promises of being a diligent student. When I fight for a cause and jeopardize this promise, I fight for a cause that is not supported by people I am responsible towards.

I can convince her to see light on why these causes are as important to me as important it is to her to see me as a good student. Thus, If I don’t have these causes, it would not mean a thing for me to even be a student no matter how successful I am, that I would be esteemed in my parent’s and world eyes (to be a successful student) but not in my own. If I am not esteemed in my own eyes, I could question my very existence and reason to go on in life.

If they are still not convinced either I do it on my own account if my causes are so worthy of fighting or I remember to be responsible and show prudence and make peace (interior and prudent peace calls to ‘cease’ and not necessarily cease to have causes) with antagonism and not necessarily with my causes.

WORTHINESS AND MEANING

Mikhail visited Dave’s home. Dave’s sister was in the kitchen. She told Mikhail that she was pleased she had not lazed around but that she struggle hard to make curry as ‘she didn’t want to lazy’.

Mikhail heard that and turned and asked her: what was that? ‘Don’t want to lazy?’ It has to be ‘don’t want to ‘be’ lazy’.

Dave said: She has this habit of saying, oh that’s grammar, its not important .

Mikhail said: it is not worth speaking in English or speaking at all if it does not mean anything.

This goes with life too, it is not worth doing anything if there is no meaning in it. I wonder how can Nietzsche and Sartre claim that life is meaningless. One is unable to express oneself regardless of all the words one can gather if all the words together [juxtaposed] do not mean anything. It is no point knowing it[words] and saying it. similarly, it is only worth doing something if it has meaning. this meaning is the fulfillment of the purpose of doing it, that it was done with meaning in mind and not with passion or ‘feeling’ or impulse or whims and fancies. life with meaning is like a flower in the garden that makes us know that it is a garden…what would it be if a thousand flowers bloom and it escapes us that it is a garden? Perhaps it would escape us much like we escape everyday of our lives when we escape meaning and live our events of the day without them. We are but the thousand flowers of our everyday life without the worthiness of being called a garden, without meaning.