No place for Love

Dave and Mikhail are walking through the woods after the Debate finals in School. Dave failed to fill in for the debate as he couldn’t find a credit card and his last bet was Jim Scorsee. Mikhail tries his best to cheer him up. Mikhail plucks an apple from the Apple tree and flings it towards Dave.

“Here you are Dave, an Apple today will keep the blues away”

“it isn’t funny, Mikhail. I am sure Jim could have done the transfer of funds. But he doesn’t want to see me winning the debate, does he? He gives me tall tales of why he can’t do a silly transfer instead of just replying yes or no to my request. He is always acting so. He doesn’t like me. If he wished, I could have got the transfer done.”

Dave and Mikhail discuss Jim’s actions and other past incidences where Dave suspects apparently similar bad intentions of Jim and tries to put cards in places. After a while, Mikhail stops walking.

“Hey Mikhail, what happened? You can’t keep up to my pace. I will slow down if you wish”

“No, Dave it isn’t your pace. It is your mind. It is so extremely bent in proving Jim has malicious intent in everything to do with you that we have spent or wasted an hour discussing it. If we go on trying to find out who has malicious intent and who doesn’t and eventually have a malicious intent ourselves in judging others, we would never learn how to love.”

The offer of the Offertory

Dave has just finished dinner at Mikhail’s house. When Dave brings his plate into the kitchen, he watches Mikhail calmly clearing all other plates. And Dave wonders why Mikhail would go to such an extent to wash the plates while he could always do them in the morning considering that it has been a tiring day

Dave asks, “Mikhail, the plates can always be done in the morning, can’t they?”

“Yes, they can. But I have to go for Mass in the morning”, says Mikhail.

“Well, it can be done after Mass, can’t it?”

And Mikhail says,

“Dave, at Mass, The infinite Sacrifice of Christ the Son in form of the life giving bread and saving cup are offered up to God, the Father for the expiation of our sins for he asked us to do the same in memory of Him during the Last Supper with the Apostles. In the offertory, the Priest prays asking that the gifts to be offered be made holy and acceptable in the eyes of the Lord. This is our chance to offer up our little of the day to the infinite gift of bread and wine that are going to become body and blood of Christ.

We can do some work and offer that good work into the offertory for the Mass like Abel did and Abraham was ready to give and many others. Our offertory like this cleaning of plates is incomparable to the infinite value of Christ’s sacrifice, yet our bit is like the two drops of water the Priests adds in the wine, that is mixed with it and dissolves into the wine.

So also my work is united to the work of Christ’s on the cross and has redemptive value if I am ready to sanctify it, offer it up and enter into my own glory like Jesus entered into his. But for that, I need to offer my bit of the day like Jesus offered all. I need to offer something with love like Jesus offered Love itself.”

Babette's Feast

Yesterday I watched an Oscar Award winning French film, Babette’s Feast. There are many aspects I could elaborate about the movie. For a starter, this movie is about simplicity and choices people make in life. Two protestant daughters of a minister in an isolated and sleepy village on an island feed the old of the village. The young women who are obedient, humble and self-effacing are very beautiful and endowed with talents like singing among others.


Two men come into their lives but for a brief time. Though the women do not overly indulge due to the upbringing of their father who doesn’t think much of earthly love and marriage, they have an inkling it is not all wrong but eventually give up their little impulse that could have changed their lives. They make peace with it. It is this peace they make that is so ubiquitously subtle in the movie yet so noticeable.


The protestant sisters are very pious and docile and always fostering the old community with hymns to God, to always sustain their gratitude that all bread and shelter comes from God who has mercy. In strike contrast are the two [possibly] catholic men who come into their lives. They are ambitious and believe in glorifying God in this life. Although this does not come out so clearly, it is very evident in their shock when the women aren’t willing to pursue their gifts or return their love.


And so enters Babette, another possibly catholic woman, who by turn of some events has lost her family in France and wishes to only work or serve the two old sisters. The protestant sisters are very humbled by the earnestness and labor of Babette. Babette takes care of all their needs and even more with a touch of love. So much so, the sisters realize that they have saved more money since Babette arrived.


And then one day Babette wins a lottery awarding her Ten thousand francs, enough to last her a lifetime and the sisters are sad that Babette will soon leave. Babette does make her intention clear but asks the sisters, a chance to prepare a French dinner in honor of the memory of their father whose 100th death anniversary is soon approaching. The sisters are initially reluctant but later agree.


And this is the place where the movie really reaches its fulfillment or should I say unleashes what the move is really about, Babette’s Feast. This is where Babette is really revealed to the world. The French dinner is something I haver never seen in my life but I am certain I would have wanted to be an ‘invite’ on that table. No wonder people say French cuisine is an art. Babette single handedly prepares a French dinner equivalent to trouncing an army alone. And she does it with a serene humility. The General, one of the dinners’ invite say it is a dinner that is capable of being turned into a love affair. The movie sees many of the old bickering men and women reconcile and love each other when they realize how they have been loved and touched by the beauty of God’s creation, food and human will to love. The songs continue, the dinner too and each one has a story to share.


This movie also explores or visits perhaps subtly the old misconception that Catholics do good works to earn their salvation. Papin writes to the protestant sisters how great they could have been but still will be when they enchant the angels in Heaven with their voice. The protestant sisters agree in the end, that many things in life cannot be pursued, many talents cannot be showcased or nurtured, often you have to leave it all to choose the better portion and it is then that God cares and always loves by his grace.


For the sisters, Babette was God’s grace and in the end, it reaffirms the saving power of Grace. Watch this movie simply to know how personal success hardly matters if one has not learned to love and our choices always bias us by worldly success but real success, the movie repeats again and again is when Truth and Mercy have merged. Some of the characters in the movie discover and preach it, others live it and a few others admit it in the end.

avoiding the Test

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and do not put us to the test but deliver us from evil1


Often we run on the street when we see a small opening and the cars have to screech, abruptly halt and we smile saying, “Phew! Made it” We park our vehicles at a no-parking zone. We are always trying our best to rescue ourselves but don't really bother about putting others into trouble and often into sin.

We pray that God not put us to the test for we have an understanding of human nature. Human nature falls easily into temptation and consequently into sin. We don't need evidence of it. We know how easily watching TV has led us into not studying for an exam. Or how not letting go off the computer or snoozing the alarm has made us late. Of how driving outrageously fast to make it to an appointment instead of apologizing in foresight has made us a prey to accidents and an inconvenience to others by over speeding recklessly.

We think it’s all ok because we are getting late and we are hungry and we are sleepy. We are honest until there comes a time our honesty is put to test. Then, honesty was possible because honesty was convenient. Now it has come to choosing honesty and inconvenience, we know who we are.

The character of our honesty, bravery and fortitude is prune under fire when inconvenience is asking us to embrace it. And then love is wanting. We do something that is void of love i.e. evil. And hence the prayer goes, to not put us to the test but to deliver us from evil.

It is amusing how we don't think twice before putting others to the test. Now nobody is born with an inherent skill of driving and not all drive to the same degree of perfection. We easily forget that man is so anxious and always engulfed with thoughts, worries, preoccupations and fantasies that a slight 'test' can derail his concentration along with his car. A million things can go wrong between the clutch, brake, gear and the acceleration. To avoid having to put people to the test is to be compassionate, an everyday compassion

We don’t have to test his driving skills in order to know if he can brake on time if we run while there is not enough time to make it across. This is real life and real people and he shares the same human weakness that we do.

It takes some compassion and concern for others in the ordinary circumstances of life to think, “I will not put him to the test lest he fall” Often we don't want to be patient with work. May be we can. Our friend may have a lot of things to accomplish. It takes some compassion into thinking, “I will not put my friend to test who is already swamped with work lest he be delayed and do them all poorly or not at all. We ought to first know and ascertain the nature of his day. Perhaps we can give the work to someone else but we aren’t thinking hard. Perhaps we don’t wish to embrace inconvenience again of asking someone other than a friend. We find requests and an appeal to our helplessness embarrassing, uncomfortable and thus, inconvenient.

It is Human nature to err and fall and swamping one with work would make them vulnerable to mistakes or delay them and love is demanded of us to others just as we would like others to show the same generosity with us and not put us to the test. Deliver us from this 'absence of love' i.e. evil act of wanting to run before cars, of asking some official to go out of his way for us which might get him in trouble if he is caught. Only for we wish to get our work done. We prefer our selves and our selfishness over the well being of others when we put others to the test.

1 Matthew 6:13

The hypocrisy of patronizing anti-Christian entertainment

One of my friends wrote to me on the Da Vinci Code saying,

“The book is just fiction. Just because it questions the authenticity of certain facts doesn’t falsify the facts. It is about our faith which should be strong enough to laugh it off rather than having to go to great lengths to justify ourselves.

Repeated attempts to do so would just make the general public wonder as to why is it that the Christian community is so worried about the book. Or is there something true in what brown's written.

I read the book 3 years ago. And that is all I did. I just read it. Once the book was done I put it down and went on with my life instead of questioning my faith and beliefs”

First, I have some questions that bother me. If you know it isn't true, why would one bother reading filth and dirt? Does one even get down reading some good books that fortifies one’s faith that one has time to dispense with falsity that endangers one’s faith?

What we don't realize is that punks like 'Dan Brown' make a buck because people like us read them and still stupidly claim that it is false and a lie. I know many people had to read it because they had to defend our faith. If you read it genuinely to take up such a task, well, I apologize. I get many questions on Da Vinci Code and although I haven't read it, I know what the book is about and can answer them to an extent.

The next question is that, I wonder if a film was screening on your father and mother scandalizing their marriage or a movie of say how your brother is a big gangster and a womanizer or runs a brothel. Imagine if the whole thing is false and your set of friends and cousins know it and are extremely enraged. Imagine if you see your cousin sister going for the movie. Wouldn't you wonder as to how she could go for the movie when she knows it is all false? Why did she not think of her cousin brother and how you would feel when you learn of it? Would you go for the movie to just 'laugh it off’? That is my problem with going for the movie.

If you wouldn’t do it when your family is slandered, I wonder why catholic’s do it when Jesus Christ is slandered. There is a disorder of the will. There is a lack of love. If I read the book or watch the movie, I am either ignorant or too blessed. I am ignorant because I haven’t met the thousands of people who gave up their faith after reading the book and blessed because I did not give up my own.

Dan Brown has struck at the heart of the Catholic Church. He has not written against, say, a doctrine such as The Communion of Saints. He has not maligned a priest, a pope, a saint, or a religious order. He has maligned Jesus Christ. For every person, who thinks less of Jesus Christ after DVC (Da Vinci Code), who thinks of Him as just a man, or a prophet, or a good moral teacher, Dan Brown will pay the price for it.

I am reminded of the parable of the Sower. The Sower sowed good seeds and the birds came and ate it away. Today, this bird is a millionaire because of people like us. I am amused anyone can call it a trivial thing. It is when we ‘protest’ do people think that we take our faith seriously. Do you know how the Muslims reacted when Mohammed was portrayed as a bomber? How the Hindus protest even when someone converts by their free will?

What about us? We are expected to sit back and say nothing because by saying something, we show others we are scared? Where did we get that idea? When we are silent about something, it implies ‘giving consent’ and that anyone can say anything about our religion because our religion is a matter of opinion. There is no ‘the faith once given’ being handed down from centuries from the Apostles right down to the Church as she is today.

When we are silent, we may give people the impression that some can believe Jesus Christ can be married and could be a moral teacher and could be God and could be prophet or could be political leader. We don’t exactly seem to others as men and women testifying to ‘truth’ that is handed down from centuries as the doctrines of the Church, unchanged and undiluted. By our silence, People of the world see us practicing a speculation not Truth.

The devil is called the father of lies. He tricks people into believing anything because he despises our loyalty the Church as the only divine thing in the world. He will be ready to spread any misgiving about her. We assist the devil when we don’t talk about it in our capacity. But then again, how much strongly we feel about the DVC also reflect on our faith in Jesus. If we wouldn’t accept any slander about our sisters and brothers, why would a good catholic accept it of Jesus who is Lord?

I think the problem with Catholics today is not that they can bear humiliation by carrying the cross of DVC but they are not bothered to take a stand when questioned or cornered on their patronage of the book or movie. They say, 'my faith is very strong, it is not going to affect me'. Do you and I ever think if we skipped the movie and the book, other Catholics or non Christians would feel guilty that they indulged in watching it? They would get the hint that 'well, I guess Dan Brown has written something really vile and preposterous for Marie and Jenny to skip the movie'.

By patronizing the movie, they get the hint 'well, Marie and Jenny went for the movie too, so I guess the whole book is arguable and worth a discussion' People like us who go 'I am very strong in my faith and beliefs and a book will not have me strayed' actually commit the sin of foolhardiness and pride. We give ourselves too much importance thinking we are too strong and need not worry about a fall. I have learned of catholic philosophers who have lost their faith reading the philosophies of Nietzche and Jean Paul Sartre.

I know men who have told a priest, “Father, nothing is going to happen when I read God Delusion’ and have consequently questioned their faith immensely and thought of it as folklore. It shows great prudence and great humility for a person to skip the movie or the book. The former (prudence) is a cardinal virtue and the latter a virtue Jesus himself said is required for Salvation (Until you learn to be like little children, you cannot enter my kingdom).

I say it is best to show prudence in these matters than indulge even when we know it is rubbish because this is how the devil acts. He is an angel after all, an intelligent spiritual being endowed with the gifts of wisdom. He lies to you, ‘this is nonsense, your faith is stronger than this’. And when you watch it, a doubt has been sowed into your mind however little, however trivial. All he has to do is stand back and relax while he sees you tormenting yourself gradually.

But Jesus said, “If your hand makes you stumble, it is better to cut it off and enter the kingdom than to go to hell with it. If your eye makes you stumble, it is better to pluck it out and enter the kingdom with one eye than to not enter at all” Even if you believe the faith as I do, don’t think it is you who do. If God were to withdraw His grace, you and I would be nowhere. To call DVC, a fallacy is a ‘grace’ in itself.

Coming back to ‘I have lot of faith and this movie cannot alter my beliefs’ this is such hypocrisy. When I have complete faith in my wife and someone wishes to meet me about my wife’s apparently illicit liaison, I would tell the man, “I don’t wish to hear anything. I have complete faith in my wife and even if my wife were to fall, I trust her to tell me than to know it from a third party” This is called a strong faith. Setting an appointment with the man to know what he has to say doesn’t inspire much ‘faith’ in the goodness of your wife.

I am still trying to figure out how some of us who say ‘I have complete faith and a movie is not going to affect me’ still read the book or watch the movie. I told you, it is a different case when a priest reads it because a lot of people are going to ask him about the book and it would be quite foolish if he says, “I have not read the book” But we are all bound by our conscience. If we don’t study by the virtue of its nobility but because exams are nearing, I wonder how many of us took up the book and the movie because we only wished the good of other souls in peril.

The truth is, we have a weak faith or simply lack of love which allows us to run our curiosity wild. A strong faith would make us skip the movie as we believe we cannot make a single buck for a novelist (Dan Brown is a novelist. It is an insult to Historians to call him one) who shows the Catholic Church in bad light.

If we patronize the movie, we support their cause. Our loyalty to the bride of Christ, the Church shows when we make a sacrifice if the movie is supposed to be enjoyable and laughable as you say. For many of my friends, they pray for Dan Brown’s soul, so skipping the movie is not a sacrifice for them but an act of ‘reason’ just like not smoking a cigarette is not a sacrifice but an act of ‘reason’.

If we go to watch the movie, there is nothing catholic about us. You are just a viewer like any other who has come to watch a movie. But if you avoid the movie people sense it is not because the movie timings are inconvenient or the movie genre is not preferable but because you are a Catholic. A chance for you to show the people in your circle that you believe it is fiction and you have no time for people who sell nonsense at our expense. A chance for us to bear witness to the faith, to stand by Jesus and His Church unlike the apostles who fell many times but always had a ‘strong faith’ and no love lacking.

On a lighter note, I understand you were gave your opinion about how sometimes protests can lead to overkill. That is why you didn't see The Church protesting about the screening of Angels and Demons, did you? Do you know why? Because Dan Brown himself accepts it is fiction. But it is not enough calling it fiction. It is how he plays his grand plan. He shows the priests, the bishops and the pope as some clandestine, power hungry and an immoral organization shielding the Truth. Again, it shows the Church in bad light. Now you may not believe the bishops are evil and secretive because they aren't. But let us not be naive about its impacts.

Tomorrow when you try to correct your non Christian friend on some Church Teaching and you say the bishop or Church says this, he would quickly remember what the bishop and Pope did to shield the truth in Angels and Demons and would find it difficult to yield to your counsel. The point is he doesn't think The Church has authority so much to be believed because of movies like Angels and Demons.

So the article was not asking us to protest but simply warning people that Dan Brown does it again. He comes out with another book (the lost symbol) like his previous nonsense. It is to belittle him so that people are dissuaded from buying his new book not to create publicity for it. The article was appealing for people to be prudent with their money and time

Why we pray

Unless you make prayer a must-have it will never come to be. You will never pray. I must have food. I must drink. I must rest. While we never skip these requirements, prayer can be conveniently skipped. Until we don't add prayer from the 'can do' to the 'must do', you will never really sit down to pray. Unless you withdraw from the television, from your ‘resting’ and ‘eating’ and ‘talking’ and ‘reading’, ‘writing’, ‘cleaning’, ‘cooking’, ‘studying’, ‘thinking’, ‘eating’ and ‘playing’, prayer will never find a reality.

Why should you pray today?

1. I have talked to many friends but I haven't talked to Jesus

2. How can I go about the day without strength that comes from Prayer?

3. What do I have to tell Jesus about my day today?

4. If I don't speak to God in prayer, all else has been but a natural day. But my end is supernatural and out of this world. If I don't pray today I have been an element merely of this world. But by speaking to God about entering into my life and its daily activities, I am a son of God.

5. How do I know what the Holy Spirit requires of me today, if I don't pray?

6. I pray so that Jesus doesn't have to say sadly, "I don't know you" or so I wouldn’t have to confess even more sadly and shamefacedly "I don't know Him or His power and love in my life"

7. Sometimes, he is the best friend I have got, the best counselor, the best guide and the best comforter. What I don't realize is he can be this all the time if I pray everyday

8. How do I take a decision without talking to Our Lord in prayer? I have only used my own limited mind not the power of the saints and angels in heaven who intercede if I am ready to pray and surrender my problem at the table of God

9. If I don't pray, how can I ever be certain if what I am doing is God's will or my own? If it happens to be God's will, very well but can I be certain until I pray and the Holy Spirit testifies in my heart? But if it is my own [will] by the folly of not praying to receive inspirations, then I am in big trouble.

10. If I don't pray, God can become a cosmic force, the cool breeze, the ‘lucky charm’, a headmaster, a judge, a feeling, an author, a leader, everything but a friend. Without prayer, God cannot be a shepherd for a sheep, my friend and my brother.

Overlooking little details

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us¹

Mikhail just got off the computer as the recess bell rang. Dave met him outside and asked, “who have you been emailing?"

“I have actually received one", said Mikhail.

"My friend has just moved to a new city for his architectural training and while I reminded him that he hasn't kept in touch, he apologized at the breakneck speed of the construction contract and never having found minutes to call or write with overbearing work. Dave smiled at this and said, "Hey Mikhail may be you can get back at him as he never found 3 minutes until you took him to task. He shot back a reply quickly unlike all the excuses for the failures of the days before.”

And Mikhail said,

"Dave, I can embarrass him alright. But I choose to overlook it and have mercy than to humiliate him. I can and I am capable of holding people in contempt and waiting for a chance to lay my bait and trap people for such little details of their excuses.

I wonder what would happen if God instead of being merciful, waited for endless opportunities in little details of our life to see us trip and fall into deceit and error and leave us embarrassed. I would lose my salvation at the drop of a hat. But God overlooks our weaknesses and watches keenly at our intentions in things. His mercy is for giving us another chance, to magnify the greatness of our soul when he finds us guilty not to humiliate us when He sees us covering up.

The character of Thomas More

The Grand Duke, Henri of Luxembourg cannot not decline personal responsibility for allowing fellow citizens to be killed by doctors, no matter how much political pressure is applied. A Man For All Seasons, Robert Bolt’s play about Thomas More, illustrates this point. One of his old friends asks More why he would not sign the Oath of Supremacy: "Why can't you do as I did and come with us, for fellowship!" And More replies, "And when we die, and you are sent to heaven for doing your conscience, and I am sent to hell for not doing mine, will you come with me, for fellowship?"

Source: http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/the_price_for_opposing_euthanasia/

The Pursuit of Knowledge

Have you observed something? The more Man pursues knowledge, the more closer he comes to understanding himself. The more he comes to understand himself, the more he understands his actions and choices. The more knowledge he searches the more meaning he finds in everything that he does. His life actually becomes all about ideas because it is these ideas that Plato talks about that fires up Man and which Man should rightly live for


And the more idealized he becomes trying to romance these ideas with his own limitations the more he realizes how sorry his state his that life is actually real and an idea cannot fit into reality the way an idea is. But his only satisfaction is to appreciate the purity of the idea and his humble opportunity to implement it imperfectly. He finds meaning in the imperfection created by a real world. Thus Realism has really given impetus and recognition to Idealism. Plato and Aristotle have reconciled in my little musings.


There is a greater demand of living life well if one has greater understanding how life should be lived well. If knowledge eradicates ignorance, then the suffering that was obscure and an ‘obstacle’ becomes known, challenging, charming and enigmatic. Suffering finds meaning in knowledge and knowledge finds pursuit in Man. Man finds purpose in Action.

The death of an expression?

Someone wrote in a comment on a blog that sorry’s and thankyou’s are not necessary. They either show a ‘vacuum’ in a relationship else people partaking in the relationship would not apologize or thank one another. Or they don’t have to do it because two friends understand each other if they are good friends and sorry and thank you become dispensable or a formality.


The point of sorry and thank you is an expression of a feeling. We do it with strangers because we think they are not obliged to help us, they can easily ignore. And yet, when they do, we are overwhelmed by their kindness and thank them incessantly.


With friends, I am afraid, that we 'presume' they are going to help and the closeness is something contrary to the strengthening of your friendship than what it seems.

One fellow says we don’t need to apologize as we can be easily forgiven if we are dealing with a ‘good’ friend. What he means to say is that, introspection, conversion of heart, guilt of hurting another person can all go for a toss. I don't do it, I really don't need it. I don't know or wonder that doing these things (introspection, expression of gratitude) can better the person I am and thus be appreciated better, loved better and hence enrich my friendship.


Perhaps people have too much pride or to less a humility to think something can be wrong with them. They don't see their conversion or 'turning a new leaf' as an answer to the problems with relationships and Mankind. Their notion of a better relationship or a better society is: Look, let me be, let me live, I am what I am, I live life on my own terms, please live your own. I try not to harm anyone and what else could anyone expect of me?. Such a ideology would patently find no reason to acknowledge a 'thank you' for someone touching one's life and a 'sorry' for disturbing another because of one's weaknesses, shortcomings and imperfections.


If only one had the humility to accept what one is with all his imperfections and faults could one be able to fathom how much one falls short of loving or accomplishing something. I say 'sorry' to acknowledge my mistake first, not only to be forgiven. So If I have wronged my friend, I say sorry in order that he/she knows I deeply regret it not because I know I will be forgiven and hence don't go to the sorry place at all. he/she needs to know that I am ashamed of the word or deed and that a heart is meant to love and my word or deed has worked contrary to it.


My friend requires knowing that I disapprove of my own conduct that has hurt him/her. This can only strengthen friendship. A ‘sorry’ conveys that I care enough to reprimand and reproach myself. That I care to keep my life in check and that I am accountable to someone and that I should treat a friend differently, more tenderly, more gently than a stranger.


The same applies to a 'Thank You' so I needn't go in detail. I am shocked that there are those that cannot see the essence of a thank you and a sorry. They are deep expressions of a human being that make us different from Animals. I can feel grateful at someone's act and I can feel sorry of letting another down.


This is an act of humbling oneself. To not experience this act of being 'humbled' and gratuitous, to expect someone's pardon because you have hurt another. To be immensely penitent because that hurt is towards a friend, not just a stranger. I am sad that many would think a Thank You and a Sorry are dispensable

Friendship with the Holy Spirit

what is friendship with the Holy Spirit but our sensitivity to His promptings, to put into effect His will, our obedience to His command, that is a whisper, like the sound of a bedbug or a gnat, so little but yet profound and clear.

Our surrender to His power and our body to be his instrument so that we can always do the Will of God and be preserved in the richness of our personality is essentially nurturing friendship with the Holy Spirit

Choosing Heaven

Anyone who loves me will keep my word, and my father will love him, and we shall come to him and make a home in him¹

A few years ago, I asked one of my friends about the Catholic doctrine of purgatory. I was very anxious to avoid it. I was aware that some kind of recompense has to be paid in purgatory for the sins committed on earth for the purification of souls. I feared it. I inquired about the means to avoid purgatory which were ranging from prayers to good works which all came down to love. I also learned why the purification is necessary and whether I can be assured that purgatory is a transition to heaven and not hell. I realized years later, much with sadness, what C.S Lewis writes about too, in the Problem of Pain.

A good fellow starts a club for people he loves who also love him. This club has members who love the founder of the club and indeed their very membership is hinged on their amount of love. Their membership is revoked if their love for the founder is any less than what love is demanded. The peculiar thing about this club is that the founder is unheard of and just an ordinary man in the world.

No one would happen to know the founder until one seeks him. In direct contrast, everybody, including children, know all about the club. It is as old as Santa Claus or perhaps predates it too. The club they say, 'is the place to be in' in equal queerness. Surprisingly, they neither know a person in the club nor what it involves. All they know is that people in the club are happy and if they can't be in the club, they rather not be anywhere else.

People leave no stone unturned to enter the club but keep deceiving themselves. For, true membership is for those who try to love its founder. They can only begin to love the founder if they have any knowledge of the founder. People are neither interested in the founder nor the criteria he has charted. Everybody, everywhere and everyday claims to have seen the founder and reveal to others, the revelations the founder has made.

But it is plain from the founder’s charter that he expects lots of changes from potential members to be worthy of the soil of his club. But potential members are not looking or willing to change themselves but rather only wish to avail the benefits of the club. Those, that people have since time immemorial attributed to the club as eternal happiness, peace and life among others.

Man often treats God just like this founder. He chooses God not out of pure intention but because he fears hell. He wishes to be in heaven, the 'club to be in' because it is popularly considered to be a happy place. What exactly he expects to find in heaven as his happiness, he does not know. All he knows is a parallel, an analogy here and there or a notion suited to his way of life. Man enjoys women and wine and dine and fast cars and bull fights and excursions and poker and glory. Perhaps he thinks heaven is the continuation of this.

May be he did not have any woman and was advised by the doctor to not have wine. May be he was poor and couldn't afford the luxury of a car. So he thinks he's suffered enough in the world and when he finds out that hell is a place of eternal suffering too, he tries all his might to avoid it or thinks that because he suffered here, in heaven, he would have all that he was deprived.

From all of these perceptions of Heaven, of receiving what one was deprived, continuation of the worldly pleasures, there is a crucial thing missing: Love of God. Love of God and realizing that man’s truest happiness is to be found only in God and he may run behind women, fame, money, materials and other pursuits that are momentary and pass away like the wind but his heart will never be at rest until it finds its rest in God².

The day when man’s heart has taken its refuge in God, every other material thing he possesses will not suddenly be renounced or destroyed for making way for God. These possessions will neither become less sinful nor more virtuous but find its proper order and place in creation and in the mind of a human soul, the highest of Creation, who finds himself in love with God.

While for the man who chooses heaven in essentially choosing God on earth, God chooses heaven for him as a continuation of man's choice so he may rest in Him and His vision. You don't have to love any president, King or founder in order to enter the country, Kingdom or club respectively. This applies to any Kingdom but Heaven. Heaven is the only place where you have to love the master for entering it. And below is perhaps, one of the best arguments I can place for those who claim to be good, nice, kind, loving, living without harming others, minding their business, never interfering with others, peaceful and never really thinking of Heaven or Salvation or God while doing all these and yet think they are entitled to Heaven too.

Nobody chooses heaven and really gains it. It is the same as I can’t enter a house if I don’t know the owner. I can’t appreciate poetry if I don’t know what the Poet is trying to say. I can make of poetry what I wish but that still won’t be an objective truth. It will only stand as my perception. Nobody chooses heaven and really gains it. Unless God wished me to be in heaven against my will which is against God nature to destroy man’s freedom for that God is not a God of mercy and love but a tyrannical God.

We can’t really choose Heaven until we don’t choose what Heaven is all about and choose the source of its entire splendor. When a movie is a roaring success, the directors and actors are probed on how they shot one scene or the other. We all wish to understand how the graceful scenes actually got their nature of grace. How the actors converted their mere skill into a graceful scene . Understanding their reasons helps us better appreciate the movie.

Or think of the Band like The Beatles. There would not be many who devour their music without knowing who the band members are, how they came together, what difficulties they faced, what the songs mean, who their inspirations were and how their music evolved.

Love follows knowledge and knowledge is fostered by love³. When you enjoy the Band, you wish to ‘know’ more about the creators. And this makes you cultivate more knowledge in order that you can love it more perfectly. Knowledge leads Love and Love drives Knowledge. You can’t really choose Heaven until you choose the splendor of Truth of its own creator through Whom Heaven receives its splendor

A man who has never been in love chooses marriage as he has some idea it is a good thing. Two people in love don't choose marriage. Marriage chooses them for marriage is the continuation of their love. Another way it could be understood that a home owner hangs a painting according to how well it lights up the room. A painter chooses a room according to how well it lights up the painting. The home owner chooses the painting for he has some idea it is good but not like the painter choosing the painting because it is the continuation of his love for the paintings whether in the exhibition hall or at home. We should believe in love and in marriage and not only ‘take’ it up because it is believed to be good things.

There are consequences then of destroying the dignity of good things. Heaven too, should be chosen not simply because it is a good place or a good dream of fantasy to entertain. It should be chosen primarily because in Heaven lies the real purpose of life, the consummation and fulfillment of all the answers and the triumphant entry into the final purpose and vision of facing up to the Creator for the eternal life.

These same good things in Heaven can be lost if we destroy the dignity of good things here on earth in all that God allows us to choose in choosing Heaven. That is why for a lot of bitter things we undergo; we can await our answers in Heaven. For a lot of talent but not success, for a lot of success but not talent, for a life which had its own story and melodrama, the real purpose of how God uses us in accordance with our will, awaits its consummation in Heaven.

Heaven after all is the continuation of love you have for the love you show here on earth. God will make for you a house in Heaven if you make a little house in your heart for him on Earth. This is the promise of Jesus Christ when he taught the Jews. The Jews are the center of the act of Salvation and Jesus came to save ‘His’ People but yet implied to them that to every man who loves him and keeps his word, the Father and He will come and make a house in the man and dwell in him. Heaven then becomes the continuation of love we have for God here in our dwelling but achieves its fuller expression in the house that God builds for us in His dwelling, Heaven.

1. John 14:23

2. Writings of St. Augustine

3. Writings of St. Augustine

The Purpose of Man and the Nature of God

I have been learning to ride a bike of late. It has been quite a learning experience. I have often have had these airs about me: Rickson reads good books; Rickson watches critically acclaimed classic movies. Such little notions of self-pride are daily little struggles. In lieu of bike-riding, this is especially essential since it humbles me that I am no good. I look with envy at others who have mastered driving.


Finally, there is something, among other things, that I can struggle, not in the sense how we struggle with daily battles of nobility, purity or conscience but struggle in the sense, how a pupil struggles with his violin in his second class. I can struggle and pray that God helps me to be perfect as my heavenly Father is perfect. For we try to learn one thing well or another, cook well or design well or paint well for there lies in us, a little glimpse of our Creator.


Somewhere deep inside us, we desire perfection. We desire not leaving a statue carved shoddily but to achieve beauty. Deep inside us, we desire beauty and desire perfection and God is beauty, God is Goodness and God alone is Perfection. We all have in us thus, an implicit, inherent desire for God for we desire goodness, we desire beauty and we desire perfection. And God is all this.


I don't want to thank God for giving me the opportunity to ride a bike as much as I want to thank him for nourishing my friendship through it. My friend has shared with me the woes of losing opportunities to get good deals, the excitement of checking a new bike, the anxiety of doing the payment, the keenness in fixing faults. At times, I have confessed, in my weakness and despair, to never be able to put the bike on its stand. He has shared my agony of being unable to do it. He has shared my helplessness of not knowing exactly what to do in order to learn it. I have asked God in prayer to learn it and today, when I could, he has shared with me the joy of achievement.


Today, I went ahead and thanked him for having taught me three things that he observed were wanting in my skill. It is then I realized what a fool I am. I believed I was being grateful and expressing gratitude for those three things. Can I really fully show gratitude for the innumerable minutes he has patiently waited so that I can put the bike on stand? Can I really thank him for sitting pillion and perhaps risking his life if he has an inkling of a judgment that I am not ready? Can I thank him for accompanying me for buying, bargaining, negotiating, testing, suggestions, tricks, ready reckoners and those innumerable little details that is a part of everyday friendship?


I could die out of exhaustion if I began to thank him. I rather come down on my knees saying, “Thank you, friend. My life is yours. May the best of my life be given to you for you have loved”


But I know now, how God works. He could have made a million little puzzles, amusements, thrills and machines and He has as he has made a bike. But He has made all these only so that through these we may learn to love each other. Through a house, we may learn to shelter, through hands, we may learn to hold and help and hug. Through money, we may learn to aid. Through words, we may learn to counsel and comfort.


God, the Good God is all this as the Bible expresses in various themes and events such as when Jesus is exhausted, God the comforter. When Moses does not know what to do, He is God the counselor. When Israelites are afraid of defeat, He is God the helper. When Israelites don’t know where to go, He is God the shelter. He uses these visible everyday miracles to bring forth his invisible love, grace and beauty of life. Some of his nature, the nature of his Goodness is reflected back in our everyday experiences.


And we desire more of these experiences, more of these friendships, this love and this bond. We don't realize that what our real desire, in desiring these ‘preview’ of the film is, God himself. God is the film. In desiring happiness and little comforts through relationships and things, we look for a satisfaction of a desire not realizing that all these should lead to the one desire as a river flows eventually into the sea. The desire of God is the stage of having no real desire for satisfaction of the desire but joy for having the desire itself. God creates the desire and we fail to desire the One that would lead to an end of trying to satisfy desires for to desire God would be to desire, desire.


We have all felt this when we love our mothers or love our children. We love them and it would be still OK if our child never gave us a little kiss. We love simply due to the desire to love unlike our professions and businesses. We desire God and us yet not know it. When we desire Him, we wish to glorify him in all things that happen for good to those who love God. Our relationships, choices, experiences take on a whole different meaning. We start looking at rain, shelter, food, money, teachers and friends, all as providence. We look at them, especially foreordained in our lives for God did not wish we suffer alone in the pursuit of happiness.


A mechanic who fixes your car doesn't simply remain an economic entity of the business chain of automobile industry. He essentially is an opportunity to glorify God that 'my car can be fixed simply because You have allowed the concept of a mechanic', 'there is a doctor because you want me to be healed so that through the doctor and his very existence and healing, I can glorify your providence, sovereign design and plan for Man and his salvation’


And this is where I begin to understand what the Church always has taught. Ask the church the purpose of Man and the Church says Glorify God. But a man works and a man loves and a man sings and a man writes. Where does glorifying God come into all this?

All things are made for the glory of God. I can never pay my friend fully for his love. This is essentially because it is not mine to give him and not entirely his to take. If a bike has helped me not so much to burn the road but to love my friend, the bike remains nevertheless a utility for all practical purpose but first to glorify God.


For God, through an act of desiring to buy a bike, allows me to experience what friendship can be. He teaches me how a friend can desire to will the good of the other through this friendship, which again is nobility. A nobility, which acquires its beauty by sharing in God's beauty, that he may be glorified through it.


And God is all this: his magnificence and love over pours onto earth and we get a iota of a notion of his love when we love in friendships, parenthood or brotherhood. God is all this, friendship, Master, lord and teacher. Anything can be enjoyed simply because God allows it by placing traces of Him into all things that we seek in purity and truth. Those that haven't understood this and still deem God as a judge, punisher of transgressions, and a cosmic force not only miss the point but miss life entirely.


This is at the Heart of Christian Hope and Christian eschatology. Today, as we enjoy the comfort of a house and can glorify God. We enjoy eating a nice meal outside and can glorify God for a hotel or for food as a delicacy and hospitality, an art. In reading a good book, that God puts great tales and fantasies into the minds of authors and allows them to recite it as a masterpiece.


The promise and Hope that all our little joys, if we glorify God through them for it pours out from His being as God is Love. All these joys will culminate and find its fullest expression when it ends in its source, God. That just as we can now enjoy hints of joy according to our senses, so also, these joys will find its climax in contemplating the face of God proper to our vision in Heaven.