The death of an expression?

Someone wrote in a comment on a blog that sorry’s and thankyou’s are not necessary. They either show a ‘vacuum’ in a relationship else people partaking in the relationship would not apologize or thank one another. Or they don’t have to do it because two friends understand each other if they are good friends and sorry and thank you become dispensable or a formality.


The point of sorry and thank you is an expression of a feeling. We do it with strangers because we think they are not obliged to help us, they can easily ignore. And yet, when they do, we are overwhelmed by their kindness and thank them incessantly.


With friends, I am afraid, that we 'presume' they are going to help and the closeness is something contrary to the strengthening of your friendship than what it seems.

One fellow says we don’t need to apologize as we can be easily forgiven if we are dealing with a ‘good’ friend. What he means to say is that, introspection, conversion of heart, guilt of hurting another person can all go for a toss. I don't do it, I really don't need it. I don't know or wonder that doing these things (introspection, expression of gratitude) can better the person I am and thus be appreciated better, loved better and hence enrich my friendship.


Perhaps people have too much pride or to less a humility to think something can be wrong with them. They don't see their conversion or 'turning a new leaf' as an answer to the problems with relationships and Mankind. Their notion of a better relationship or a better society is: Look, let me be, let me live, I am what I am, I live life on my own terms, please live your own. I try not to harm anyone and what else could anyone expect of me?. Such a ideology would patently find no reason to acknowledge a 'thank you' for someone touching one's life and a 'sorry' for disturbing another because of one's weaknesses, shortcomings and imperfections.


If only one had the humility to accept what one is with all his imperfections and faults could one be able to fathom how much one falls short of loving or accomplishing something. I say 'sorry' to acknowledge my mistake first, not only to be forgiven. So If I have wronged my friend, I say sorry in order that he/she knows I deeply regret it not because I know I will be forgiven and hence don't go to the sorry place at all. he/she needs to know that I am ashamed of the word or deed and that a heart is meant to love and my word or deed has worked contrary to it.


My friend requires knowing that I disapprove of my own conduct that has hurt him/her. This can only strengthen friendship. A ‘sorry’ conveys that I care enough to reprimand and reproach myself. That I care to keep my life in check and that I am accountable to someone and that I should treat a friend differently, more tenderly, more gently than a stranger.


The same applies to a 'Thank You' so I needn't go in detail. I am shocked that there are those that cannot see the essence of a thank you and a sorry. They are deep expressions of a human being that make us different from Animals. I can feel grateful at someone's act and I can feel sorry of letting another down.


This is an act of humbling oneself. To not experience this act of being 'humbled' and gratuitous, to expect someone's pardon because you have hurt another. To be immensely penitent because that hurt is towards a friend, not just a stranger. I am sad that many would think a Thank You and a Sorry are dispensable