The nature of Asceticism

Yesterday, my friend wanted a tool to do some work. He could do work without the tool but with it, life would be really simplified. He was making a call to me and I was in the Gymnasium. Later on, when I reached home, I told him, “you knew where the tool was, you could have just picked it up. He only smiled and said, ‘It is alright. I did fine without it”

I realized later his real philosophy. Often we get all we want by a simple request or a difficult one. We are averse to bothering ourselves but will go out of our ways to make that last desperate phone call to get what we want. Why inconvenience ourselves, is our reasoning.

But somewhere deep inside just a plain ‘it will be more convenient with the shampoo, with the bike ride, with the pen, with the envelope, with a new phone” is another mindset, a fear active-how can I do without it?

Whether finding out there is little water left to take a bath or there is not much rice left for two to eat, there is always this gnawing fear ‘can I survive this bath without enough water? Can this rice be enough? Should we make some calls or set out to buy more rice? Deep inside the frantic calls or always getting what you want, is a view of being unable to trust God that we would be alright if we choose to do without them. Sure, we feel relieved when we make a call or ask a friend or roommate to go out of their way or use their service and consequently only thank God for working through them. But this is the paradox of asceticism.

The mortal searches the ends of the earth driven by fear and is filled with gratitude after his ends have been met. The ascetic is filled with peace first, for he believes God takes care of all and he needn’t tear himself if he has to do without enough bread or without the AC working and he will survive. He searches God because he is alright if he is deprived of many a things. if he can only receive peace from God instead. The mortal man searches all the ends to receive what he desired if only he can drive away his worry.

One seeks peace; the other seeks to banish worry. One wishes to know what it is to do without things and fulfilling all desires and to only cling to God. The other dreads a day that he would have to do without these things and his desires and clings to anyone or anything that could get him his heart’s desire. One realizes that things bring peace but things are of this world and the peace they bring is also of this world only to vanish away until another thing grips his heart. So he rather have the peace that has God as its source in practicing poverty in order that he can embrace whatever is the reality of his being. The other is harrowed by not having enough and it presupposes a difficulty in trusting God that all will be fine or that we can survive it without great tumult in our soul.

If only we first cling to God in the definitive moment of making a choice whether to do without it or get what we desire that now seems like a spiritual warfare of loyalty to things eternal or things worldly. Of course, our desire to always get what we want and its consequent fulfillment establishes that in this spiritual warfare of choice, choosing whether we can trust God and drive out the fear, mostly our loyalties go with the things of this world. That is why our peace is also momentary. It flees.

This is also the paradox of peace in everyday difficulties. When we drive out the fear because we trust God and take a leap of faith, we are at peace. The fear will be lesser every next time. But there will be a next time and a faith to show. it will keep coming. When we think that all our heart desires should be granted which presupposes a fear that ‘life cannot go on without it’. It is subject to the nature of solutions your friend or any other has to offer like a little water instead of a lot or cold instead of hot. When you still don’t get what you prefer(say in this case more water or hot water respectively), the worry is not perfectly quelled and the sadness remains. We are still vulnerable to sadness. The worry is banished but the worry increases every next time it comes. There will be a next time. Our faith will be measured. It will keep coming too.