We have a human tendency to defend ourselves and prove our innocence. Somewhere deep inside of us we wish to be called good and to be acknowledged that we fight the good fight, seek the truth and live in honesty. We may be very dishonest most of the time but the fact that we always have an excuse or a case to defend ourselves shows how much we believe in living by rules, fulfilling promises and being moral.
Often our last resort on being accused of immorality is not to repudiate any allegiance to morality but to claim that everyone around is living an equally depraved life. Observe that we do not say that "I don’t believe In morality at all so don’t bother me". Rather, deep inside, we still believe that morality is a good thing, untouched and unstained by the world’s cruelty and worth fighting for. Only that I don’t wish to fight now as no one around me is going fighting either.
Talking about building cases reminds me of forgiveness. Mother Teresa once said that we don’t have to go on proving to the world that we are upright or doing the right thing. Either they understand or they don’t. If they don’t, in heaven we will receive our vindication.
A few days ago, my I accused my friend of not devoting any time to me and being a big hypocrite talking about love and sincerity and yet not discerning his duties to friendship. Later, I learned that my friend was busy opening and closing his fathers bank account through a complex process, preparing some documents for his sister that was really urgent, helping out another guy with his and other little details.
I wished he could have told me all this notwithstanding that these reasons then would still sound like excuses to me. But the truth being I didn’t wish to listen or hear his story. All I wished to do was tell him how I wasn’t made happy, how he didn’t look out for me and what a hypocrite he was. It is one thing to demand from a friend and later realize that one was unworthy of demanding explanations. It is another to accuse a friend and later find out that he was innocent. The guilt just stifles and creates a tumult of anguish. You feel like you cannot be forgiven
He certainly must have felt like a lawyer wishing to build an unimpeachable case in his defense. But he knew that would leave me ashamed and guilty. I would feel embarrassed and think that I can never be forgiven. He did not wish that his friend go through this angst. He did not wish to make me feel so silly that I hang my head in shame. And so he never built any case and forgave me.
Jesus didn’t stop loving Man while he was on the Cross. He prayed that His Father forgive those who did not know what they were doing. He could forgive because He could love. He realized, that having full knowledge that He was the Son of God, they would have been ashamed to death unto their acts. So He chose to forgive rather than build a case through scriptures on how they got it wrong and leave them shame-faced.
And so he let humiliation crash down upon him for a few moments. He forgave not because he is overtly inclined to forgiveness but because of applying the compassion that if I had full recourse to his plan of day, I would have never cast any judgments. It was not an act of mercy but more an act of love. My friend loves me and didn’t wish that I feel ashamed of myself. Mercy emanates out of love. We all think of ourselves as fine individuals, caring and kind and lovely. That all, perhaps we are. But If we cannot forgive, it is a measure of our love.
Often our last resort on being accused of immorality is not to repudiate any allegiance to morality but to claim that everyone around is living an equally depraved life. Observe that we do not say that "I don’t believe In morality at all so don’t bother me". Rather, deep inside, we still believe that morality is a good thing, untouched and unstained by the world’s cruelty and worth fighting for. Only that I don’t wish to fight now as no one around me is going fighting either.
Talking about building cases reminds me of forgiveness. Mother Teresa once said that we don’t have to go on proving to the world that we are upright or doing the right thing. Either they understand or they don’t. If they don’t, in heaven we will receive our vindication.
A few days ago, my I accused my friend of not devoting any time to me and being a big hypocrite talking about love and sincerity and yet not discerning his duties to friendship. Later, I learned that my friend was busy opening and closing his fathers bank account through a complex process, preparing some documents for his sister that was really urgent, helping out another guy with his and other little details.
I wished he could have told me all this notwithstanding that these reasons then would still sound like excuses to me. But the truth being I didn’t wish to listen or hear his story. All I wished to do was tell him how I wasn’t made happy, how he didn’t look out for me and what a hypocrite he was. It is one thing to demand from a friend and later realize that one was unworthy of demanding explanations. It is another to accuse a friend and later find out that he was innocent. The guilt just stifles and creates a tumult of anguish. You feel like you cannot be forgiven
He certainly must have felt like a lawyer wishing to build an unimpeachable case in his defense. But he knew that would leave me ashamed and guilty. I would feel embarrassed and think that I can never be forgiven. He did not wish that his friend go through this angst. He did not wish to make me feel so silly that I hang my head in shame. And so he never built any case and forgave me.
Jesus didn’t stop loving Man while he was on the Cross. He prayed that His Father forgive those who did not know what they were doing. He could forgive because He could love. He realized, that having full knowledge that He was the Son of God, they would have been ashamed to death unto their acts. So He chose to forgive rather than build a case through scriptures on how they got it wrong and leave them shame-faced.
And so he let humiliation crash down upon him for a few moments. He forgave not because he is overtly inclined to forgiveness but because of applying the compassion that if I had full recourse to his plan of day, I would have never cast any judgments. It was not an act of mercy but more an act of love. My friend loves me and didn’t wish that I feel ashamed of myself. Mercy emanates out of love. We all think of ourselves as fine individuals, caring and kind and lovely. That all, perhaps we are. But If we cannot forgive, it is a measure of our love.
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