Faith and Season

I remember once my dad asking me: Why don't you feel about God the way I feel. Well somewhere on those lines. I was aware that I don't feel as intensely about God as my Dad does or may be I do but not in the way my Dad does. My dad feels about God very much as a grateful servant does who owes his whole life to his master. Then, I felt about God more as a 'seeker', a boy on a soujourn trying to unravel in his own sweet time about God. I said to him: You all have reached an age where you all have realized where can you all go now, but find your hope in God but as for us, it doesn't hit us on the face that hard. Things have changed in the past year but I cannot quite pin point what event or series of events were the 'flash points'. I boarded a bus to college in the morning after Mass and I realized, Life had come full circle. I had found an answer to my Dad's question or rather stumbled upon it. It was reality now: I was working towards my faith. I was living for God. I was working towards what awaits me in heaven. Until now it was more of being lost in a semantic world or words: Oh I am just being a good Christian...well this is what God expects of me...I had some free time. No Let me put down what I am doing. I am just reminding myself everyday when I can of ''why I am here and 'what I should do' about it, How I should grow into the new revelation of this life and its purpose...how should I be 'Rickson' and how should I just be an instrument of God's plan. Some times both eventaully both converge to be 'one' if I want to...that is, that the greatest expression of freedom is in doing God's will.